And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
