I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
