Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
