woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
