he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
