small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
