How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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