Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
