As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
