If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize