I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
