Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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