the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
