Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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