weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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