I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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