My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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