i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
