See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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