i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
