If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
