the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
