So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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