He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
