Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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