I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
