Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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