The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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