He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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