If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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