Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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