You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
