Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've blown a few things in my day
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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