It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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