Kiss
Puke
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
