I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
