there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
