its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
