Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
