This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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