I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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