I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
