is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
