Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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