Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize