Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
