the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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