Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
