People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
