when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
