Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
