The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
