Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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