I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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