what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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