worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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