I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my mouth tastes like poor choices
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I wear drunk well.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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