I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
