so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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