I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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