Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
tell your sister to shave her snatch
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
