She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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