He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
