somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Small penises have feelings too.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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