If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
