I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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