i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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