i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize