I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
